Day 28 – Grocery Day

Starting tomorrow, A and I are taking a long weekend staycation in lieu of our plans to travel for our honeymoon. Initially it felt silly to take days off when we we are working from home, but I am craving a break from screens and schedules. And we’ll get more quality time!

Knowing that was coming up boosted my spirits today and it was good to actively engage with work.  We planned out fun meals to cook and since our salsa making class is no longer, I added ingredients to our grocery list to make our own.

Grocery shopping was something I largely enjoyed and took for granted. Popping into stores 1-2 times a week, maybe a third time at the bodega for a late night Tate’s cookies craving, was a routine

It has all become bittersweet. I am grateful that for the last few weeks I’ve been able to get a coveted delivery slot at our local grocery.  Now, slots are taken almost two weeks out, and even if you get one, many things are not in stock. So I thought about the grocery list carefully— what did I really need? Would I use everything?

I swayed between feeling guilt over having someone deliver my groceries during this time and angst at the thought of going to very crowded stores that hadn’t yet implemented social distancing. I’m hoping that as time passes I’ll find a middle ground. In the meantime, tip well and be patient.

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That’s getting the groceries– then there’s information overload about the proper way to take in and clean them. Each item has to be handled differently.

Use soap on some things, but not others.  Use lysol if you’re lucky enough to have it. Transfer clean things from one side of the counter to the other. Wash your hands obsessively. Keep cardboard off to the side for 48+ hours. Rinse, repeat.

It’s a whole operation that I’m not quite used to. There’s a sense of dread at bringing things into my home and wondering if one slip up could mean getting sick. There’s no evidence around the virus being food borne, so I KNOW it is my brain fixating on trying to control the somewhat uncontrollable.

I can take precautions as best as possible, but it’s not helpful to obsess and self-center about it. I know that and it is a work in progress.

Once grocery day comes and goes, I’m thrilled to have fruit and greens (and chocolate) and immensely full of gratitude. After a week, a near empty fridge is a sign of little waste (thankful for A being able to eat week old leftovers) and a reminder to start the process all over again.

Friends— there are so many people in need who ache for basic necessities. If you are fortunate enough to be able to give:

There are ways to help, near and far, like by donating to Invisible Hands (they deliver groceries to at-risk population), the Brooklyn Shows Loves Emergency Fund for Hourly Workers, or Black Lives Mutual Aid Fund.



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